My biggest fear is indifference

I'm scared because it seems to me that time stopped right at the summer of my seventeenth year. I just loved him, even if it wasn't meant to last more than a month because of distance. Then my heart ached and I felt pain. But ever since that day, and it's been one year and a half, my heart never raced again, I could never let any guy in the same way I did with him. I tried to kick the hands of the clock forwards but every time, I am reminded how it ended up last time.
I am afraid I will never fall in love again.